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Dating at any age can be challenging but after age 40 it seems almost catastrophic. If someone had given me an inkling that it would be like this I’d have started a lot sooner. But no, I had this brilliant idea to wait until my kids were adults and I had a career, before I got into a serious relationship. Now everyday for the last three years I’ve been kicking myself. Don’t get me wrong, love at any age is beautiful but the road to get there as you grow older gets more narrow and difficult by the day.
Here’s are just a few things that can change after age 40:
- Low tolerance levels
As much as you think you have all the patience in the world, especially if you’ve raised kids, after 40 everything seems to work your nerves. Dating someone who can’t make up their mind about being in a relationship or who is inconsistent in the dating process is nerve-racking. It also keeps you in a state of imbalance because you are constantly asking and second guessing yourself as to whether you want to be bothered with being in a relationship altogether.
- Impatience
For a lot of women things are being looked at from the standpoint of age. Perhaps they’re considering children and their biological clock is ticking or they just want to marry by a certain age. This leads to a tendency to want to rush things. The problem with rushing is that you can miss some important building steps and/or overlook some key characteristics about the other person.
- Intimacy
After 40, intimacy takes on a different meaning. For some women, hormone levels have started to change, your attitude about intimacy has changed, you’re preoccupied with other things in your life and as a result intimacy becomes less of a big deal. Sure you desire intimacy but if you don’t get it, you don’t lose any sleep.
- Making Space/Time
Most people have established routines by a this age. This makes finding the space and time to fit another party into your life more difficult. You may have children or you may have commitments to your job, church, school or organizations that you will have to reorganize to make room for dating and relationship building. This isn’t always easy and can lead to problems if things are not prioritized.
- Communication Methods
This is likely one of the number one challenges for people over 40. Texting has become the most widely used form of communication and while it may be widely accepted among millennials, people who grew up using telephones find it more difficult to get use to when dating and trying to get to know someone. Having to deal with a person whose preferred mode of communication is texting can be quite challenging. It goes back to the low tolerance issue and having to decide what you will or will not accept.
Change is a good thing but after age 40 changes are weighed more heavily. If the things presented to you don’t serve a major purpose into the betterment of your life it’s likely not to happen. In other words, pick up the phone and call–no one has time to be type a whole conversation. Save texting for on the fly communication. 😄
I know there are more and I would love to hear from you. What would you add to this list? Answer in the comments below.Â
Disclaimer: The views expressed here are my own from my own experiences and those of people close to me. I am not a psychologist or doctor of any kind. Just a woman on a mission to use my personal transparency to help someone else.
PS: Life is one experience after another.